The Evolution of Language: Understanding Self-Objects and the Truth of Terms

 The Evolution of Language: Understanding Self-Objects and the Truth of Terms

Have you ever noticed how certain people, places, or objects seem to define who you are? A childhood home that still brings you comfort, a mentor whose words continue to guide you, or a treasured keepsake that feels like a part of your identity—these connections shape us in profound ways. In psychology, these deeply personal associations are sometimes described as self-objects, but the idea extends far beyond academic theory.

Language, like identity, is not static. It evolves as we refine our understanding of the world. Yet, too often, the meaning of words is treated as though it belongs to whoever named a concept first. This post explores the idea of self-objects, the broader implications of language, and why no one can truly “own” a term—because truth itself is not a possession.

The Concept of Self-Objects

The term self-object was popularized by Heinz Kohut in self-psychology, referring to people, objects, or experiences that help maintain a person’s sense of self. But this idea can be expanded:

• Self-others – People who provide emotional support, validation, or identity continuity.
• Self-things – Objects, such as heirlooms or creative works, that embody personal meaning.
• Self-places – Locations, from childhood homes to sacred spaces, that ground us in our identity.

For instance, a supportive friend (self-other) can offer stability in times of crisis, while a favorite childhood park (self-place) may provide a sense of belonging long after childhood has passed. Even an old journal or a piece of music (self-thing) can serve as an anchor to personal history.

By broadening the scope of self-objects, we gain a richer understanding of how we internalize and relate to the world around us.

The Truth of Language

Language is not merely a collection of words—it is a tool for describing reality. As our understanding grows, so too must our vocabulary. When we use terms like self-object, we are not just citing a specific theory; we are pointing to a universal truth about human connection.

However, the evolution of language often meets resistance. Some argue that the person who first coined a term has authority over its meaning. But should words be fixed in place, or should they grow with our knowledge?

The Fallacy of Monopolizing Terms

History shows that no idea exists in isolation. Even the term self-object, though formally introduced by Kohut, has conceptual roots in William James’s social self and Charles Cooley’s looking-glass self. If Kohut had claimed sole ownership of the idea, its evolution might have been stunted.

This highlights a common fallacy: the belief that the first person to name something defines it forever. But language is not proprietary—it belongs to collective understanding. The moment a term enters discourse, it becomes part of a shared effort to describe reality.

Words as Descriptors of Truth

Words should serve one primary function: to describe what is true. The truth of a concept is not owned by the person who first articulated it; it belongs to everyone who recognizes and builds upon it.

By resisting the urge to monopolize terms, we create space for more accurate, inclusive, and evolving discussions. We acknowledge that knowledge is communal, not individual, and that progress depends on dialogue, not gatekeeping.

Conclusion

Language is a living entity, shaped by the need to express new insights. The concept of self-objects illustrates how personal identity is deeply connected to people, places, and things—but it also serves as a reminder that words, like identities, must remain adaptable.

No one owns the truth. No single person or theory can dictate the meaning of a term forever. By embracing the evolution of language, we enrich our ability to communicate, connect, and understand the world around us.

Call to Action

Think about your own experiences with self-objects. Which people, objects, or places have shaped your identity the most? How has your understanding of certain words evolved over time? Share your thoughts in the comments and join the conversation on language, identity, and the ever-changing nature of meaning.